How to Win an Hour Magazine Top Business Award

How to Win an Hour Magazine Top Business Award

Hey there! So you wanna win this super fancy Hour Magazine Top Business Award, huh? Well, let me tell ya it is like trying to convince a cat to take a bath. But don’t worry, I got your back! I’m here to break down the steps for you. Just think of it as your treasure map, but instead of gold coins, we want shiny awards and lots of people saying “Wow, you’re so awesome!”

Step 1: Come Up with a Wild Idea
Okay so first things first. You need an idea that makes people go “WHAT!” Like maybe selling left shoes only or starting a business where you train squirrels to fetch pizza. Seriously, the weirder the better. People love quirky stuff.

Step 2: Make Your Office Look Fancy
And don’t just slap on a poster and call it art! Nope! Get some plants, like those ones that look like they belong in Jurassic Park. Maybe throw in a bean bag chair for those important meetings where everyone’s half asleep. Bonus points if the plants have names!

Step 3: Hire Your Own Cheerleading Squad
Yes, you heard me right! You gotta show off how exciting your company is. So grab some friends or hire some enthusiastic folks who can jump around and shout your praises while doing human pyramids outside your office. Everyone loves a good performance.

Step 4: Master the Art of The Elevator Pitch
Now imagine this; you’re stuck in an elevator with someone famous. You gotta sell them your business idea in about 30 seconds before they take off and disappear forever. Have them rolling on the floor laughing or crying – either works because at least they won’t forget you!

Step 5: Create Memes about Your Business
Just think about it for a second—everyone loves memes! Create funny images or videos that make fun of your own business struggles or highlight what makes you unique. Like that time your printer threw up paper everywhere during an important meeting? Post it online!

Step 6: Host an Award-Winning Event
Go big or go home right? Throw an over-the-top event to celebrate how cool you are! Rent out some place fancy and serve food from food trucks—but only if they are super unique like vegan sushi burritos or deep-fried ice cream tacos which sounds bizarre but trust me will get attention!

Step 7: Get Your Customers Involved
Last but not least, ask your loyal customers (like those who buy stuff even when they don’t need to) for help! Create polls or contests on social media where they can vote about which flavor of ice cream should be released next or what weird product you should launch next year.

Fun FAQ Section

Question: Can I win without having any customers yet?
Answer: Sure why not! Just pretend like people love ya already and get creative with social media posts showing how great you’re gonna be someday!

Question: What if my mom thinks my idea is bad?
Answer: Tell her she’s just jealous because YOU’RE gonna be famous and she’ll have to brag about her genius kid!

Question: Do I really need a cheerleading squad?
Answer: Heck yes! Who doesn’t want personalized chants? Plus it will confuse everyone into thinking you’re much cooler than you actually are.

Question: Is there an award for the best meme maker?
Answer: Not yet! But hey if we all keep making enough funny stuff maybe we can start one ourselves!

Question: Should I bribe award judges with cookies?
Answer: Only if they are gluten-free AND absolutely delicious otherwise you’ll just annoy them which is also kinda funny tho.

Question: How do I know if my office decor is “fancy”?
Answer: If pintrest thinks its fancy then you’re golden but honestly anything that’s colorful counts—even if it’s glitter glue all over the place.

Question: What happens if I trip while giving my pitch?
Answer: Just roll with it and say it was part of your performance art piece – everyone loves spontaneity!

So there ya have it—your totally foolproof plan to snag that Hour Magazine Top Business Award while probably making everyone laugh along the way! Good luck, friend—now go make some magic happen!