How to Get Rid of Garter Snakes Safely and Effectively

Hey friend! So, I gotta tell you something. Garter snakes are like the sneaky ninjas of the backyard world. One minute, you’re chillin’, sipping lemonade, and the next minute—BAM—a slithery green snake is doing its best impression of a garden hose. Like, what gives? If you’re not ready to adopt a new pet that does not eat dog food or sleep in your bed, let’s talk about how to get rid of those slippery dudes safely and effectively. Ready? Let’s go!

Step 1: Be Cool About It
First off, take a deep breath. Garter snakes are usually harmless and totally just vibing in your yard. They’re like the weird uncles of snakes. So don’t freak out! You don’t want to start jumping around like you’ve seen a ghost. Just be cool.

Step 2: Snake Block Party
So, you wanna keep snakes away? Time to throw them a block party… but not one they can attend! Snakes don’t like places that smell funny. Things like vinegar or garlic really make them wanna take a hike. Mix up some solution with water and squirt it around your yard to let ‘em know they’re no longer welcome.

Step 3: Sneaky Landscaping
And while you’re at it with that land-scaping thingy, make sure there aren’t too many cozy spots for those sneaky snakes to hang out. Cut down tall grass and clear away any bushes or wood piles they might use as vacation homes. Be ruthless! Picture yourself as the homeowner association president saying “not on my watch!”

Step 4: The Great Escape Plan
If you see a garter snake lounging in your backyard sunbathing like it paid rent there, try gently scooping it up using a broom (it’s just like cleaning up dust bunnies). But don’t poke at it too hard or you’ll end up resembling someone trying to scoop ice cream from frozen solid brick! Once it’s safely on the broom, carry it gently away from your home—preferably somewhere else outside.

Step 5: Crafty Climate Control
Garter snakes love warm areas, so why not mess with their little vacation plans? You could create shade by planting some big flowers or bushes (that are NOT inviting). This discourages them from hanging out in your sunny patio where you’re trying to sip your iced tea.

Step 6: Give Them Hints
Okay this step is more passive-aggressive than anything else but hear me out: Get a fake owl and put it somewhere noticeable in your garden. Snakes are not big fans of owls – it’s like putting up a “no entry” sign but more creative! Those crafty garter snakes will think twice before entering your territory when they see Mr. Plastic Owl staring down at them with his beady eyes.

Step 7: The Power of Cats
Finally, if all else fails and you’re still feeling overrun by these wiggly critters, get yourself a cat—or borrow one if you can’t commit long term! Cats are natural hunters and will turn into furry little action heroes chasing those snakes away faster than you can say “where’d my fish tank go?”

FAQ Section

Question: Are garter snakes dangerous?
Answer: Nah bro! They ain’t dangerous unless you’re made of mice or worms!

Question: What’s wrong with having a snake?
Answer: Well… unless you’re ready for snake naps on your couch and feeding them crickets every week… maybe pass?

Question: What if I really like snakes?
Answer: Then maybe rescue one instead of tossing ’em outta town! Lotsa people do that kind of stuff!

Question: Can I use traps?
Answer: Uh kinda but traps may hurt them and we don’t wanna be meanie heads right?

Question: Do they hibernate?
Answer: Yup! Think about them taking winter vacations in dirt holes—that’s just rude if they’re hoarding all the warmth.

Question: Can I keep them as pets?
Answer: If you enjoy slithery roommates who only eat live things… sure go ahead but good luck getting them house-trained!

Question: What’s with people being scared of snakes?
Answer: Honestly it’s just weird because they’re usually just chillin’ looking for bugs – they ain’t lurking around plotting global domination… yet!

So there ya have it! Next time you spot one of these lil guys just remember – there’s always fun ways to say “not today” without starting an all-out war in your backyard jungle. Have fun getting rid of those slithery dudes!


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