Hey there, friend! So, you’ve got an 18-year-old child and they’re all set to leave the nest. Wow, congrats on raising a human who can make their own toast and (maybe) do their laundry! But let’s be real, this is like watching your favorite sitcom get canceled. You don’t want them to go, but they gotta spread their wings, right? Or maybe they just want freedom so they can stay up late binge-watching shows without you hovering over them. Either way, here are some super funny steps on how to let go of your almost-adult without losing your mind.
Step 1: Give Them a Good Luck Speech
Okay, first things first. Make sure you give them an epic “good luck” speech. Something like: “Remember when you were five and thought putting glue in your hair was a great idea? Yeah, don’t do that anymore.” But make it heartfelt too. Like you really believe in them or whatever. Just don’t cry. Crying is a buzzkill.
Step 2: Raid Their Room
This is probably the best part! Well… not for them anyway. Go in there and take everything valuable they left behind while packing their bags! Old game consoles? Mine now! That hoodie they always wear? Score! I mean come on, it’s just collecting dust anyway. This technique will help you clean AND keep their spirit close—kind of like a weird ghostly presence.
Step 3: Plan Your Alone Time
Now that your kiddo’s outta here, it’s time to plan for some YOU TIME! Think of it as a mini-vacation without ever leaving home. No one hogging the remote or judging how much ice cream you eat while watching reality TV. Treat yourself to takeout every night and dance around in your pajamas because no one is there to see it!
Step 4: Embrace the Empty Fridge
You know when kids live at home and “forget” to put things back in the fridge? Time for payback! Enjoy that glorious moment when you find nothing but condiments inside and realize you’re free from asking someone if they’re going to finish that half-eaten sandwich from two weeks ago.
Step 5: Create a Fun Countdown Calendar
Make a countdown calendar until your kid comes back from college (or wherever life takes ’em). But instead of marking boring days, write silly stuff like “Day 3 – Eat an entire pizza by myself” or “Day 11 – Dance party in my living room.” It’ll keep you entertained plus gave them updates about how much fun you’re having while they’re away!
Step 6: Send Weird Texts Occasionally
Text them random things like “I miss the way you left dirty dishes everywhere” or “Do you think aliens have pets?” The confusion will be hilarious! Plus, it’ll show that even when they’re ‘independent,’ you’ll always be their quirky parent who says bizarre stuff at random times.
Step 7: Celebrate the Small Wins
So now that they’re gone, celebrate every little milestone. Did they call once? Yup, party time! Did they mention something semi-serious about bills? Break out the music and dance like nobody’s watching because well… nobody IS watching! You get to do whatever makes you happy now!
Fun FAQ Section
Question: How am I supposed to sleep without my kid’s door slamming at midnight?
Answer: Invest in earplugs or better yet—get yourself one of those fancy white noise machines. Just remember not to use it with your ice cream munching sessions; loud crunches are NOT soothing.
Question: What if my child doesn’t call me enough?
Answer: Use pigeons for messaging—just kidding! They’re busy being adults now but feel free to text them every other hour if needed…unless you’re trying too hard then maybe chill.
Question: Do I need to stop being “dad” or “mom”?
Answer: Nope! You’re stuck with that title forever whether they like it or not. Just remember less advice and more emojis next time!
Question: Will I miss my kid?
Answer: Yes…and no…it’s complicated…like “Game of Thrones” endings complicated!
Question: Can I still embarrass my kid while they’re away?
Answer: Totally! Send embarrassing pics through group chats or post throwbacks on social media with cringy captions; it’s basically mandatory parenting duties at this point.
Question: What happens if I hear someone else call me ‘Mom’ or ‘Dad’?
Answer: Panic for a second then say thanks for reminding you how important those titles are…and start planning family reunion vibes again.
Question: Should I give up on life after they leave?
Answer: LOL no way! You’ve got ice cream and Netflix waiting for ya—it’s gonna be fine!
So there ya go friend—letting go doesn’t have to be sad or scary. Just embrace the chaos and enjoy every crazy minute of this new chapter sans constant laundry duty…unless they come back with ALL THEIR DIRTY CLOTHES AGAIN!!!
Leave a Reply